13 May 2007 - 8:39 p.m.
Woe!

Oh woe is me.

I have to spend way too much time at home by myself now Mum is spending all her time at the other house. Ok, it's really only a few hours at a time but it still feels weird.

It's Mothers' Day! Happy mothers' day to those of you who are crazy enough to have children *looks to Wellington*! I can't quite figure out if I punctuated that correctly, but too bad.

We all went out for dinner (we = Me, my bf, Mum, the new guy, Nana and Grandad) to a more fancy restaurant for Mothers' day. It was only fancy because I got some coupons off the back of supermarket receipts with "buy one main meal get one free" because my family is super cheap.

The new guy is starting to annoy me more and more. I'm not sure if it's because of his personality, or what he represents... a major change to my life etc etc.

I guess he's trying to integrate himself into a group of people and also find interests in common, but it just sounds to me that he likes the sound of his own voice. Constantly talking about soccer(football)when it's only Mum, him and me. Neither Mum or I care about football, so why talk about it? Same about rugby - no one in my family watches it so talking about how no NZ teams got through to the finals in the Super 14 isn't going to raise much interest.

I'm not sure if he has actually been to Europe or not, but he seems to talk about it a fair amount and I expect he wants to go there(again?). He also said that they should teach dancing at schools (like ballroom dancing) instead of whatever else they teach. I'm not sure if he was referring to English, History, Mathematics, IT, PE or what, but I think taking time away from that for dancing lessons wouldn't go down too well. If people are actually interested then they can take seperate lessons, like with music.

Mum wears Dad's wedding band with her other rings. I might tell her that if she stops wearing it, I want it. Although I guess my brother might like it as well. I'm so selfish about these things, but I guess it's understandable. I should try and get it out of my system though.

Speaking of which, I had a nice big talk to the lady that comes around for 'workplace support' on Thursday. She suggested I make use of the counselling sessions my workplace funds. Something to do with preventing me from becoming stuck in grieving, to help me process the feelings and be able to deal with it all. I think it's probably a good idea too but I need to find some time I can phone and make an appointment while I'm not at work.

--

I wonder how my brother is doing. He's a constable in Wanganui, which is a pretty interesting/exciting/potentially dangerous place at the moment due to a fairly strong gang presence that is being rather visible through drive-by shootings and bodies turning up on the riverbank. I sometimes worry about his willingness to "be a hero" and put himself into dangerous situations, but he is fairly sensible and 19 now (haha, 19. I'm sure that comforts everyone in Wangas).

I don't get to see him very much when he does come to visit but I think it would be good to talk to him about the whole New guy thing at some point. He can sympathise with me, but also tell me if I should be getting over something, instead of just feeling sorry for myself.

Oh, woe is me!