24 May 2007 - 8:52 p.m.
Slight de-stress

I've had a talk to Mum again about the new guy. I think it went ok. It has helped relieve some of my stress about the whole situation.

I told her:

• I'm feeling really uncomfortable with it at the moment
• I'm finding it all really hard and I still miss Dad a lot
• I'm not sure if it's the new guy that annoys me so much, or if it's my other feelings - maybe a mix of both
• I feel upset and angry over the whole thing and when the feelings come out it makes me yell, I don't really mean to shout at her
• She has to make sure that he doesn't convince her to take any less of her medicines, because that would be a very bad thing
• At dinner with my grandparents the other night, when he was talking about God at the dinner table, it was uncomfortable and my grandad got quite annoyed. That annoyed me, because it's the only time I spend with my grandparents and he ruined it

That's everything I can remember at the moment. Quite a good list, eh.

He was at dinner with my grandparents again last night, and dinner at home tonight and they both went ok. I felt more ok with him being around so I think talking to Mum really helped.

I still have been feeling a bit weird, though. It might not seem like a big deal to other people and I guess in the grand scheme of things it isn't, but yesterday when I got home from work (around 5pm) I drank enough Baileys (mmm) to get tipsy and a little bit of a spin/stagger thing happening occasionally. I don't think anyone at dinner noticed. The strange part is that I would never have expected myself to do that. Gave me a surprise.

Then after dinner Mum was out and I decided that I needed to do something other than sit at my computer so I re-sewed a bunch of buttons back on my coats in front of Survivor. I'm getting far too domestic. I did also watch Live at yours with Elemeno P, which was good.

Today, I intended on sewing the rest of my buttons but I didn't. Maybe I will get around to it but that's not likely until next week... or maybe the week after.

This Tuesday I will definitely be turning up for Spanish class, but mainly so I can tell my teacher that I won't be going anymore. It seemed like a good idea at the time and I have been enjoying it. Having two night classes in a row straight after the weekend (NZ Sign Language on Monday and Spanish on Tuesday) hasn't been so great. I also don't have the motivation for Spanish that I do for
NZ Sign Language.

And like someone else mentioned, I am also doing a belly dancing class which is lots of fun but also slightly painful the next day from using different muscles. You can try me, but it's very unlikely you will get a demonstration.

One more point - haven't seen a lot of my boyfriend in the past week so this weekend will be nice. Unfortunately, I think the people (if any) who read this probably have a better idea of what is going on in my life. He just doesn't ask. Maybe I should give him the URL. I think that's a bit sad, though.